The Next Two...

I have written but not posted in a while. The following two are about two completely different subjects but nonetheless from me. It was a good Sabbath...

Random Post #1 (Solemn Day For Us That Loved This Great Man...)

A lot has happened since I last wrote. It was an eventful January and it has continued into February. I write this on Sunday, February 10, 2008 and am enjoying sitting with my wife while we watch some television and recap the week. One of the major milestones that I feel like recording is the passing of President Gordon B. Hinckley.

Two weeks ago to the day I was sitting on my couch and I received a text message from my friend Doug. It was about 8 o’clock and his message said “we have a new prophet.” I texted back a response along the lines of “huh?” and then he replied that President Hinckley has passed away earlier that evening. I immediately tried to log on to ksl.com to see if what he had said was true and the site wasn’t working. I later found out it was because it was being inundated with traffic for people trying to find out the same thing that I was. I logged on to the website of a competitor of KSL and saw the notice and story of how he had passed away at about 7pm that night and it was because of symptoms relating to his age. It seemed surreal to me that he would die; I honestly could not see a time when the church wouldn’t be led by him. He seemed almost iconic with the way that he led the church. He was the prophet for the majority of the time that I can say that had a testimony and it was quite a shock to hear of his passing.

It wasn’t until later that night that I found myself emotional over his passing. When I was a child the prophet was Ezra Taft Benson. The prophet that gave me my mission call was Howard W. Hunter. But President Hinckley was always present throughout the presidencies of both of those men and I can honestly say that I remember him more than any of the other president of the church. He was always a source for guidance and light; he was and is important to my development as a member of the church. I love him and am grateful for his influence in my life. All of that came to the surface as I pondered that the church would now be without Gordon Hinckley the man and the mantle of Prophet would pass to another. I found that for a short week I was curious to how my heart would embrace President Monson after he was sustained as the new President of the church. I watched the funeral proceedings of President Hinckley and was deeply touched by the countless expressions of love and gratitude for what he did for all mankind as he was here on the earth. I wept as I listened to his daughter share the personal side of his emotions and health after the passing of his wife Marjorie years ago. I connected in my heart once again that a willing man plus the mantle equals an inspired servant. I rejoiced silently for him and the reunion he was experiencing with his sweet wife. All is well.

A few days later was the press conference announcing to the world President Thomas S. Monson as the new prophet and new president of the church. He (the Lord) chose President Henry B. Erying and President Deter F. Uchtdorf to be his counselors. He answered questions about his feelings and the direction he would take the church. I loved that this his response was that he had served with Gordon B. Hinckley for 44 years and that he wasn’t going to depart much from the course President Hinckley had trod; the doctrine was constant. What a testament to the unity of those brethren!! I saw in him the same prophetic mantle and felt the same Spirit remind my soul that the man only holds what God will allow him to, and that has passed to this man, Thomas S. Monson. On top of that, I guess the work rolls on.

I will share more of my thoughts about this at a later time...

Random Post #2 (Pretty Boy Floyd vs. the World... Really...)

This is going to be another one of those entries that I write that is along the lines of a commentary about some certain opinion I have. Ever since the Super Bowl a few weeks ago I have been thinking about the state of sports as they are and have been; forming an afterthought that I would like to share here. Whether it is the steroid issue in baseball, the spying accusations against the New England Patriots, the fall from grace for Marion Jones the exposure of cheating in sports is at an all time high. To be a child athlete nowadays must be rough; trying to find someone that you can look up to as a sports figure is challenging at it's best. I open this entry with that lead-in as I have been contemplating perfection in sports and what it means for the legacy of competition.

A few weeks ago (December 8, 2008) I watched a boxing match where two unbeatens faced off to have one of them leave the match with one loss. The Floyd Mayweather Jr. and Ricky Hatton fight was an interesting spectacle in that both fighters were meeting in the latter part of their careers and both had never been beaten. Mayweather was 38-0 and Hatton was 43-0 entering that fight; numbers that reflect that they have seen a slew of opponents, styles, and beatings in their professional career. It is not unheard of for boxers to be undefeated, but with that many wins under thier belt it is quite an accomplishment. Mayweather added another victory making his record 39-0; and the road to that record has been what is most impressive. Floyd Mayweather throughout his run has held title belts for five weight classes and have 25 knockouts in his 39 wins. He has given hope to the viability of boxing as he has broken records for Pay-Per-View numbers, set records for the most revenue from his fights and became something that no one since Sugar Ray Leonard has done; be a marketable boxer that crosses the lines of the sport to other genres. Two fights ago as he fought Oscar De La Hoya and beat him by split decision lasting the entire 12 rounds and is slated to rematch that fight this September. He has become something that no other team/athlete in recent memory has been; unequivocally perfect without accusation of cheating.

My afterthought is this: After his fight with Oscar De La Hoya he said he was going to retire. Ricky Hatton called him out so he came out of retirement to fight him. He said after the Hatton victory that he was retiring from the sport to focus on promoting boxing, where the real money is (side note: Mayweather took home about 25 million from the De La Hoya fight, and De La Hoya who was the promoter reportedly took home 180 million since his company, Golden Boy Promotions promoted the fight... WOW, not bad for a LOSS). This month Oscar came knocking again wanting a rematch so he is once again coming out of retirement to fight. Floyd Mayweather should stick with his original claim and remain retired. Boxing is one of the few sports where it is so highly regulated that it is near impossible to cheat. The athletes are tested for substances that could alter their ability to perform, they are required to maintain a weight that must fall within their class (a window of between 5-8 lbs. depending on their class) and on top of that, if they last the entire match with their opponent the fight is decided on who fought a better fight. To win in boxing there aren't many ways to do it other than to be better and want it more than your opponent. I say in our current state in sports where everything that we thought was good and fair has been exposed as a lie and cheat Floyd needs to save all of sports and give us something to see that is possible without cheating; perfection. Had the Patriots finished their run it wouldn’t be such a big deal but since they didn’t and their integrity is in question we are left to Floyd to save us…God help us.

There is a reason no boxer makes it their entire career without at least one loss. The lure of money, fame and then the constant nagging of their own ego telling them that no one can beat them ultimately catches up to them as youth beat them to a loss. Floyd will still fight I am sure of it and who knows, he still has the skills and talent to beat the best in his sport hence the reason for his undefeated record. His only real competition right now is a boxer named Miguel Cotto; he has an undefeated record of 31-0 currently but isn’t enough of a money draw for Floyd to waste his time fighting him. Hopefully for those of us that enjoy the history side of accomplishment in sports he will hang it up before he has a -1 on the end of his record.

Anyway, that’s it. Prescott out...

The Wintry Day, Descending To Its Close...

What a week. I cannot let much time pass before I write this entry; I must allow the thoughts and feelings of my heart be kept fresh so that I can recount them here adequately. This past week represents years worth of resolution culminated into one wonderful evening…

It has been no secret to anyone that reads this blog with any regularity that the past three and a half years have been at times challenging. I have expressed here my love for my wife, my children and a testimony in Jesus Christ as my redeemer and Savior. I have expressed confusion, concern, certainty and excitement for the trials of life and the abundance to which my life has been blessed. Throughout all of this was a narrative of the efforts I have made to be able to join the Lord’s church again after having been removed from it through excommunication. Countless Bishop’s interviews, prayers, tears, fits of anger and rage underlined by my desire to make right what was wrong and to start over have outlined the pages here. I didn’t know when the journey would be over as far as the road to rebaptism but I felt in my heart one day it would be. I am grateful to say that the road that I travel now is not that road; last night that trial ended for me.

I met last Sunday with my Stake President, President Fred Burton. After having had regular contact with my Bishop in the past year detailing to him by behavior and words my feelings towards the church and gospel he felt that the time had come for the next step in the path to rebaptism; to meet with Pres. Burton. Last Sunday’s interview was the second of my interviews with him and this time things were a lot more in depth regarding the reasons for my dismissal from the Lord’s church and the improprieties to which at that time I had involved myself in. It was a very arduous discussion for it involved recounting of sins that I have far since removed myself from and a reliving of sorts of that time in my life. We discussed the interpretation that was given by former spouse of what happened and why our marriage failed; we discussed the differences between her account and mine; we discussed what happened and why Amie and I ultimately chose to be married and the manner in which we have lived our lives since that time. Overall the meeting was very unsettling because the feeling that accompanied me as I left there was not one of confidence that things were resolved enough to move on and be able to rejoin the church. Regardless of my feelings, Pres. Burton had decided that he would reconvene the disciplinary council Sunday, December 30, 2007 to decide whether or not it was the right time for me to be reinstated and join the church again through baptism.

This last week was horrible in a lot of ways. Leaving that meeting an anger and hurt settled over me that consumed me in its entirety. I looked at everything about my life with hurt and disgust; nothing had gone my way, nothing was good enough, there was a lot lacking to get me to be “happy” and I felt rejected by everything thing and everyone that was important to me. Amie and I even had a horrible fight; one which I started and take full responsibility for in which I picked on her for not being what I thought she should be. I slept very little that night, mulling over in my mind the “injustices” of life and feeling sorry for myself. When the dawn came it was Christmas Eve and I didn’t want to have the feelings of the night last into the day; I confronted Amie about my feelings (or she pulled them out of me, can’t remember) and ended up having one of the most pronounced breakdowns of my life. I felt crazy, balling my head off in the shower and having my loving wife look at me from beyond the glass with an endearing face yet seemingly hiding a fear that she was married to a crazy person. I promised her that I would not allow the day to continue that way and we had a better day. Same for Christmas day… we were surrounded by family so my thoughts and demons were held at bay for yet another day. Day after Christmas I was travelling, I drove to Boise to get my kids so another day was filled full of business to where I wasn’t bothered by the demons. Thursday came, I called Pres. Burton to make sure that I understood his intentions and he confirmed them that Sunday there would be a council and that it would decide at that time what was to be. Friday my Parents showed up and in talking to them I kept getting more and more discouraged; not by anything they were saying but by that if I really wasn’t allowed to be rebaptized I wasn’t ready for that kind of rejection. I feared my own reaction that I would abandon what I had known and go off the deep end. This whole experience has been so taxing, trying to live a gospel centered life but not being able to partake in any of the things that give you the strength to do it. I thought to myself that if I wasn’t ready now to be a member then I never would be; I might as well take the break that I hear so many ex’d people take.

That was the permeating feeling throughout Saturday and heading into Sunday morning. I arrived at the church at about ten minutes to 8 am and was promptly introduced to a room full of men that were there in a way to decide my fate. I had done my part up to this point now it was theirs. I sat there and shared my feelings, fielded questions, shared my testimony and then was escorted out of the room for them to discuss candidly what should happen. My Bishop was there to support me; he and I shared small talk outside that room for ten minutes, then twenty, thirty, forty five… what seemed like forever. Since it was taking such a long time the Bishop and I concurred that what was happening was that they were deciding on a list of things for me to do before I could be reinstated; what a horrible feeling. The door opened up and we were invited back into the room to be told that the council’s decision was that there was nothing more short of a judge’s ruling that could change the unresolved details of my situation with my former spouse, my efforts had been sufficient to demonstrate fruit meet for repentance and that the time was now for me to be reinstated.

What a flood of emotion came over me. I felt such joy at that declaration and listened intently at each bullet of council that President Burton gave me to live by. I wept thoroughly as I felt a release in my body that was consuming. I pondered how long it had been and what a great renewal this new year will be…

My baptism was last night at 6 pm. The ordinance itself was very quick, but afterward I stood in my father’s arms weeping from gratitude that my Heavenly Father hadn’t lost hope on me. I felt so clean, pure… I kept thinking about how grateful I am that my children and wife were able to see me get baptized and to show them an outward manifestation of my inner testimony. The room was very peaceful and emotions were displayed by all in attendance, a testimony what love our Heavenly Father has for us. I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit there confirming my feelings of peace, forgiveness and renewal. It was wonderful. Some of the other details are my father performed both ordinances of baptism and confirmation. Chris Groneman gave a talk on baptism referencing Romans chapter 6 and spoke of the death of an old life and the birth of a new. He expressed gratitude to me for the influence I have had on him and his decision to serve a mission. Chad Williams gave the talk on the Holy Ghost and shared a heartfelt testimony of the effect the Holy Ghost has had in his life, more specifically when their son Nixon was to have a skull reconstruction surgery. Bishop Hawkins shared his testimony, and then I took a moment to share mine. I shared my love for my family, my wife and kids and the great love I have for all the close friends that were with me in that room. I expressed the certainty that Jesus Christ is real and that he really died for us. The closing hymn was my favorite hymn, #37 “The Wintry Day Descending to Its Close” and then we ended the evening with most of the attendees coming to the house to enjoy each other’s company and to be together.

The most beautiful thing that I am experiencing from all of this is the quiet I feel in my own head. I had it explained to me once that the difference after rebaptism is like you’ve been living with an annoying commercial on the television of the background blaring while you try to go about your life and with rebaptism comes the muting of that noise. I know what that means. I feel so calm and at ease about life and what’s in store for me and my family. I feel truly forgiven for the misdeeds of the past years and feel that all that I have lost I can reclaim. I have such a hope for the coming year that I smile when I think about it. I love my life, my family, and my kids, all of it. I understand more fully what the atonement can do for you and feel the desire to never deviate my actions to the point where this calm leaves me again. What a great time of year to have this happen! I am the most blessed man on the earth (or at least it feels that way!!).

So the New Year for me is started with renewal… I hope anyone who reads this is offered the same…

Just because, here are the words to my favorite hymn:

The Wintry Day, Descending to Its Close, no. 37

The wintry day, descending to its close invites all wearied nature to repose,And shades of night are falling dense and fast like sable curtains closing o’er the past.Pale through the gloom the newly fallen snow wraps in a shroud the silent earth below,As tho ’twere mercy’s hand had spread the pall a symbol of forgiveness unto all.

I cannot go to rest, but linger still in meditation at my window sill,While, like the twinkling stars in heaven’s dome come one by one sweet memories of home.And wouldst thou ask me where my fancy roves to reproduce the happy scenes it loves,Where hope and memory together dwell and paint the pictured beauties that I tell?

Away beyond the prairies of the West where exiled Saints in solitude were blest,Where industry the seal of wealth has set amid the peaceful vales of Deseret,Unheeding still the fiercest blasts that blow, with tops encrusted by eternal snow,The tow’ring peaks that shield the tender sod stand, types of freedom reared by nature’s God.

The wilderness, that naught before would yield is now become a fertile, fruitful field.Where roamed at will the fearless Indian band the templed cities of the Saints now stand.And sweet religion in its purity invites all men to its security.There is my home, the spot I love so well, whose worth and beauty pen nor tongue can tell.

Text: Orson F. Whitney, 1855–1931
Music: Edward P. Kimball, 1882–1937

Where Have I Been?

Back in the saddle… Today is Sunday, December 9, 2007. I haven’t written in a while but that doesn’t really matter; I am going to write today. I just got home from church and it was a very gratifying set of meetings. I went alone today; Amie has come down with a combo of the stomach flu and a cold, Dorian was at Matt’s today (as usual) and I didn’t want stay home. Even though I don’t like attending by myself I am glad that I went.

We had a change in the Elder’s Quorum today. The outgoing president had only been there since the ward split, which is about a year and a half. The new president is a good man and this will be his third go and being president of an Elder’s quorum. Not that a change was needed, it will be a change that I am sure will be an inspired one. I also spoke briefly with the Bishop today… We are very close to my return to the fold. After my last interview with the Stake president, he and the bishop have discussed my readiness and it looks like by the end of the month it should happen. I became very emotional as the bishop told me these things, it felt like it was for real and not one of the times like the past where I was told one thing to not have it play out that way. One of the talks today in sacrament referenced "the Lord’s time" and I guess that is what I have been waiting for…

I haven’t written in a while and a lot has happened. Halloween was a very fun weekend. I had the girls here and we also hosted a Halloween party that was an absolute blast. On Halloween night Amie and I dressed up in costume and took the kids trick or treating and then came home and watched a scary movie. The girls were adorable in their costumes as Belle and Dora the Explorer, and Dorian was a very convincing Jack Sparrow (with his super dark eyes he pulls that off very well). I went as Buddy the Elf and Amie was a female version of the Devil (is there another type? HA). Our costumes were so convincing that we even won best costume at the Envision Halloween party. Before my marriage to Amie I never really got into the holiday that much, now it’s on the calendar and next year's costume is already on the mind.

Thanksgiving then came around... I had the girls again, this time for ten days. It was so great to have them here as it is always such a blessing. I have written this before but I reiterate how easy life seems to be when I have them close to me. They both have such cute personalities and I love them so very much; and they show so freely their love back to me. I wish they lived with me… Anyway, it was quite the family affair for the week. My parents came to town and stayed with us, Dennis and Megan and their family passed through town, my mom’s parents came down from Missoula, MT to spend some time with us as well. The last time I had so much family around me was the Yellowstone trip three and a half years ago. This time the circumstances were different and it was a very happy and loving experience. It was nice for my grandparents to meet Amie; they expressed the rave reviews she has received from Scott and Lynn and said that they had to meet her for themselves. We had a full house for most of the week with visitors in and out from all my family, Amie's local family, Amie's out of town family, they were everywhere. Amie does such a great job as a host that it baffles me. She is so elegant and easy to be around that people just flock to her. I feel such a grateful sigh as I think of how things are with her as my wife. I really love her and what she means to me. It was also great to have my kids be able to spend a lot of time with my parents. My mom and dad get daily, if not weekly time with their other grandchildren and they only get to see mine if the planets align themselves. Both Mom and Dad have said multiple times how wonderful it was to spend time with them (the girls)and us for Thanksgiving. I told my mom that I would have them the week after Christmas as well and it looks like they will be coming to visit again at that point. I am so glad to have my parents have a part in the life of my kids. It cannot be discounted how important that is.

Today is a good day, I will write more later…

Go Derrty Birds...

A friend of mine asked me in an email what my opinion was of the Michael Vick story. I have written before in this blog about how he as a football player first allured me to an interest in football and I have never shied away from endorsing him as a player. Having said that it has been an extremely disappointing few months watching one of my favorite players be involved in something as shocking as dog fighting and the repercussions it has had on my team; the Atlanta Falcons. I won’t dwell too much on it… but I will share this: A week or so ago ESPN hosted a town hall meeting in Atlanta gauging the public views and thoughts surrounding what has happened to Michael Vick. All sorts of groups were represented; the Humane Society, local media in Atlanta, church groups, the NAACP… all there to give their two cents. ESPN asked that people post comments on their website in response to certain questions for the panel and share insights for the meeting. The following is the question I responded to and my comment:

"How has Michael Vick been treated by the media?

The media super storm that has existed over the past few months has been mostly responsible for the damage to Michael Vick’s image. His personal responsibility notwithstanding, he does not deserve the backlash from the manner in which the “general public” views his actions and the outrage for animal cruelty. While the media is a small number of people that dictate what news is seen their opinion does not represent the opinion of the country at large. People seem to share two different opinions about dog fighting; the opinion acceptable to share in public that it is cruel, inhumane and horrible and the opinion that is shared amongst friends in close circles that while it’s a cruel, the life of an animal should never be placed above that of a human and penalties for animal cruelty should reflect that hierarchy. I feel that dog fighting is wrong, and as a story attached to someone with the celebrity of Michael Vick is juicy, enticing and attractive; add to that a news media thirsty for a story during a boring summer and you have Michael Vick saga as it has unfolded. The most disconcerting thing to me is that Michael Vick never assaulted anyone, killed anyone, raped anyone, robbed anyone, molested anyone’s kids or family and yet will have a more difficult time than any perpetrator of the listed crimes rehabilitating his image. It is a sad state in our country that we have come to this where federal resources are being used to chase a dog fighting ring while there are still homeless and hungry on the streets of our cities. The NFL nor the country at large are better off for what has happened, if anything it is more of an indictment of the manner in which the media use the public and celebrity for their own gain, regardless of the consequence. It seems incredibly alarming that Michael Vick has been perceived as he has been, yet has not been guilty of one crime against another human being. I guess you need to be indicted for murder (Ray Lewis…currently playing for the Baltimore Ravens, no suspension from the NFL), drug trafficking (Jamal Lewis…currently playing for the Cleveland Browns, served a 4 month jail sentence, no NFL suspension) or rape (Patrick Kerney… currently playing for the Seattle Seahawks…no NFL suspension) to be fly under the radar. Dog Fighters are the REAL felons…"

Back To The Songs...

"As long as the day is full of time, there will always be room for your hand in mine..."

A wonderful lyric from a wonder song by a wonderful songwriter...

"Fall Apart Again" by Brandi Carlile.

From the first time I heard those words stretch through the song I couldn't think of a more endearing way to tell someone important how you feel about them. Obviously the music is missing which adds to the emotion of the statement but nonetheless, it is a great thing to feel that for someone. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE... wink.

A Great Story Heard This Sunday...

I heard this yesterday and loved it. Thought I'd share it here...

The Parable of the Pear Seed:

The wise observation of human behavior is a trademark of the Chinese culture, its history and people. For more than 3,000 years of recorded history, the Chinese have shared great wisdom through beloved folktales and proverbs.

One Chinese folktale recounts the misfortune of a poor man who was so hungry that he stole a pear. He ate the pear as quickly as possible, but not before he was arrested and put in jail. Behind bars, the man finished eating the pear, all the way down to the last seed, which he carefully saved.

Days and months passed while the man awaited his trial. At last, he devised a plan. He asked the guard if he could present the emperor with a rare gift. The guard consented, and the man offered his pear seed to the emperor. The poor man said that it would produce pears made of pure gold, but only if the one who planted it had never lied, cheated, or stolen anything. The seed was of no use to him, a common thief, but perhaps the emperor could plant it.
His majesty thought for a minute and declined. The poor man then offered the seed to the prime minister, who likewise had his conscience pricked and refused to plant the seed. Next he offered it to the commander of the royal army, the chief magistrate, the chief warden—all the way down to the lowest page in the emperor’s court. No one would plant the seed because no one had a completely clear conscience. They now saw the poor man in a new light and decided to set him free.

At some point in life, we realize that mercy and justice are not incompatible. Without condoning others’ misdeeds and shortcomings, we can choose not to dwell on them—and instead try to correct our own. When we mercifully look for the good in others and choose to define them by their virtues and not their faults, we build bonds of love that can unite the human family.

Live At Radio City Music Hall...

Oh, hallowed day in music! One of my most favorite albums of all time is the Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds: Live at Luther College album. I just found out that a few days ago they released a follow up to it; Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds: Live At Radio City Music Hall. I have been listening to that new masterpeice for the last half hour and it does not dissappoint. The album is just two guitars and Dave's voice and stories. I will update more as I become more familiar with the album. One cool thing is they do an acoustic version of a great song called "The Maker" which is about the internal journey of realizing that whether you understand it or not we are all the offspring of God. Our actions are always seen and heard by he who's hand made us, we are all walking a twisted mile and cannot hide; just embrace it. Here is a glimpse of one of the stanza's.

"Oh, oh deep water, black and cold like the night. I stand with arms wide open, I've run a twisted mile. I'm a stranger in the eyes of the Maker...

I could not see for the fog in my eyes. I could not feel for the fear in my life. From across the great divide in the distance I saw a light of Jean Baptiste's... he's walking to me with the Maker...

My body is bent and broken by long and dangerous sleep, I can't work the fields of Abraham and turn my head away.... I'm not a stranger in the hands of the Maker."

Just a teaser... but WOW... that's all I can say.