What a bleak way to start...

I always seem to have so much bottled up inside of me. Especially lately as the time continues to pass and the consequence of my actions more present itself in my life. My emotions are so close to the surface, and the calls to heaven for reprieve of this heart ache are scattered in their answers. Every now and then I will find my eyes welling with tears and overflowing as thoughts come to my heart of the children to which I am far away. My beautiful daughters in their infancy are not close to the man that helped bring them into the world. Tragedy is not even a word that comes close to describing how devastating it can be. How my life can move on in such a way is beyond me and my understanding. I am prayerful that this can change and we undo was has been done.
My oldest daughter is one of the sweetest people I have ever met. I say this not to single out my youngest daughter, or to discount the possibility that God has in sending more beloved children my way, but as a strict reality. Recently I spent some time together with her, and the two of us were able to have some much needed daddy-daughter time. Her kind and gentle nature is reminiscent of her mother back when things were good and true. I feel a special bond with her, and I am certain that as I pray and request that the Lord touch her soul and communicate to her the deep love I have for her my prayer is answered. I am excited to see her grow old, and hope that the mistakes that I have made that caused her mother and I to no longer love each other be made better through years of care and that she can see through our mistakes and feel deeply the love that we have for her. I have felt impressions that in the later years of her life that she would live with me and be able to make up for the time lost. Maybe it will happen that way, maybe my heart searches for something to make the hurt worth it. Who knows…?
I am starting this blog with this entry. As it unfolds, I will bare more of my soul and the situation that I have of a life to the world. I will share my opinions on a variety of sorts, and all for the sake of exposing myself (metaphorically speaking) to the world. It is a love letter of sorts, albeit at times a sorrowful one, to the people that I miss dearly and the world to which I am not a part of. It is also to those that make up the world in which I now live and an epistle to my loved ones. Welcome to my life, you can call me Bryce…