Sunday… Blog day… So I write. The morning after my last blog entry I had left the house to go the gym and upon my return found my wife sitting at my computer with my blog pulled up. I sat down to her and asked her how she was, she was still feeling sick so I don’t know whether to attribute the emotions of the hour to that or that something in her finally broke down. A conversation ensued about things between us, our lives together, our goals. She told me that judging alone on the title of my last entry that she knew that it was going to be a difficult entry to read because I exclusively use this as a means of telling of my sadness and how much I miss my kids. In tears she gave me a tender embrace and told me that we need to fix things so that I can be happy and reminded me that despite what I may feel about myself that happiness is something that I deserve… I really love that woman.
She touched on a good point though. I have tried to make my entries as true to life as possible so that history is documented of my life. I don’t care so much about each nit picky detail, but the feelings that surround them. Also, I never wanted to be guilty of glossing over what my life is really about. The past years of my life have altered me, and to quote a recent movie that I saw, I wanted to “soak in the beautiful melancholy of what’s happened to [me].” I needs be told that the the person that I really am deep inside of me isn’t a man who is overcome with despair. Those who have known me well would say that I am witty and quick to try to make you laugh. I am easy to be around. I love serving others. I enjoy the company of those I love. To this point this blog has failed in relaying that side of me.
Life goes on. Our eventual move draws closer. We have started the process of going through all of our junk and getting rid of what we don’t need. We sold the big screen HDTV that was in our bedroom to the bishop. I joked with my friend Grant today that the claimed absence of our bishop today wasn’t because he had a baby blessing to go to, but he couldn’t draw himself away from the TV. HD will get ‘cha… While moving the TV yesterday his neighbor bought my trampoline off of me. I am hoping the trend continues and I sell a lot of junk so that it means less to move. We will see…
I will write more soon…
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