Old Doors Are Closed But He's Always Open...

A lot has happened since the last time I wrote. I am hopeful that I won’t overlook anything as I recount the happenings of the last little spell in life. Some very wonderful spiritual things have happened, celebrated Amie’s 25th birthday, saw a great concert of one of my favorite artists and am writing this as this dawn will bring the general conference of the church. As fate would have it I will recount what’s happened as chronicled above.

This past Wednesday Amie and I met with out new bishop. Last Sunday we went to what we thought was the right chapel/ward only to find out that it wasn’t. We were given the number of the executive secretary of the ward that we were told was ours only once again to find that it wasn’t. I finally hunted down the right number to call and set up an interview for us; our stake had recently been split so naturally there was a bit of confusion as to where we would attend. I should have trusted the church website… I looked up where we should go and didn’t trust it because the building is miles away and this is Utah. We pass four church buildings to get to ours. Our bishop’s name is Bishop Enger and he is only a shade older than I am. He also served his mission in the Porto Alegre north mission and left as I was arriving in the south mission which made for some interesting conversation. In our interview Amie and I told him of our intentions in the ward and committed to him our activity and devotion to the gospel. I was very emotional talking to him. My daughters, my situation, my standing in the church were all subjects we discussed and was relieved as he listened with love and concern for me and my family. I felt truly uplifted as I left his office. He asked Amie to bare him her testimony, and the experience that followed is one that I will cherish for a lifetime. I had never seen or heard her speak of such things and she bore a very sweet, humble testimony of times she had recognized the Spirit. He told us that he loves to see people grow and that his emphasis as a bishop has been to have his ward take upon themselves the admonition of Alma; mourn with those that mourn, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort. He assured us that we would be welcomed with open arms. It was such a relief to feel that way… being in the last ward had stripped me somewhat in the faith that I have that members of the church can be accepting without some sort of agenda attached to duty. I know the bishop loves and cares for us; even thought we haven’t attended a meeting yet I also have faith that the ward echoes his sentiments. I used this phrase before, but I felt a portion of my shame disappear and become hope. Much is in store…

The day before all this happened was Amie’s birthday. We thought that we would take the day and go skiing together, so that’s what we did. I called my friend Todd at Deer Valley and with his help with lift passes we skied, ate great food and enjoyed the day together. Amie is getting so good at skiing it surprises me, she is almost to the point where I can take her anywhere on the mountain and she isn’t intimidated. She even took a jump in the terrain park, a feat to which I was thoroughly impressed. I kept showing off with my newly acquired 540 trick, and she fed my ego in a manner befitting a wife. It was a fun day. I can’t wait for the times when I can take all the members of my family skiing. I have always felt that Jane would be a great skier; she is fearless and has no issue with the cold (something key to skiing). I don’t know how Catherine will fair but seeing that my blood runs in her veins there is definitely hope she will follow suit. We finished off the night seeing a very entertaining movie. As we recapped the day we recognized that it was a very good day. I hope that she enjoyed her birthday as much as I did.

On to the musical part of the program… a few months ago my friend Doug learned about James Blunt coming to town. He is a musician with quite an interesting past, he used to be in the English military, his father was also a lifer in the military, he didn’t grow up with any music played around him yet one day picked up a guitar, starting learning to play and attached some of his poetry to song and poof… Rock Star… I bought tickets to this show months ago when they first went on sale and thought they could tie in nicely with Amie’s birthday. Last night was the show; it was a bit deceptive because on the ticket it said that the show started at 8 pm but when we got there a bit before eight we learned that James didn’t hit the stage until 10:30. We sat through two lame bands before we finally got to see the name on the stub. The wait was definitely worth it, he was a vibrant, entertaining performer. I am always curious to see how a live performance will pan out, especially somebody like him for his music is very passionate and heart felt. It can be hard to translate such music to the stage. The most poignant part of the show was when he played a song called “No Bravery.” Before he started playing he said that would be showing some footage on the screen to accompany his performance; footage that he took in 1999 when he was in the military and serving in Kosovo. The footage was riveting, so much destruction, hints of death, overall sorrow were displayed. Imagine those images to these lyrics, coupled with a haunting track of only piano and voice:

"No Bravery" By James Blunt

There are children standing here,
Arms outstretched into the sky,
Tears drying on their face.
He has been here.
Brothers lie in shallow graves.
Fathers lost without a trace.
A nation blind to their disgrace,
Since he's been here.

And I see no bravery,
No bravery in your eyes anymore.
Only sadness.

Houses burnt beyond repair.
The smell of death is in the air.
A woman weeping in despair says,
He has been here.
Tracer lighting up the sky.
It's another families' turn to die.
A child afraid to even cry out says,
He has been here.

And I see no bravery,
No bravery in your eyes anymore.
Only sadness.

There are children standing here,
Arms outstretched into the sky,
But no one asks the question why,
He has been here.
Old men kneel to accept their fate.
Wives and daughters cut and raped.
A generation drenched in hate.
Says, he has been here.

And I see no bravery,
No bravery in your eyes anymore.
Only sadness

His performance came across literally tied to his experience in Kosovo, yet I felt a deeper, less literal connection to the destruction that happens between people when we hurt each other. After our emotional battles ensue, after “he has been here” we can at times be left feeling so wounded that there is no bravery for our cause left in us, only sadness. I became quite stirred during that performance as I connected the dots between what is real and what is perceived; my mind attached personal experience to each one of the descriptions of destruction and made the feelings tangible and real. Great song… He was equally as impressive with his other songs; second most notably the song “Goodbye My Lover” to which he asked the crowd’s silence as the song was a “quite song.” Check out his album, “Back to Bedlam,” it is a good one.

Today is the start of the 176th Annual General Conference of the church. I welcome this time of year and the promise of renewal in my life. My home is filled with feelings of love and the Spirit as we watch the prophets and apostles speak of the Savior. This day is no exception. I will be sure to write about the impressions I have as I watch the speakers and tomorrow as I attend the afternoon session. I am excited for this day and what will transpire…

Until next time…