Dream Beneath A Desert Sky...

I might as well use my time while I am here… It’s Sunday evening once again and I am in Surprise, Arizona visiting my family. On Friday I went to Boise to pick up my children; drove them to Salt Lake and then Saturday drove here with the rest of my family. I am feeling spent as it has been quite a bit a driving over the last few days. Add to that I personally feel that Arizona is hell’s waiting room; the temperature was 114 degrees today. I have vowed to never come to Arizona again unless after October 15th and before April 15th.

It has been a great couple of days so far. Having my children around is one of the most rewarding blessings of my life. I love each one of them with such a fondness… Jane is not only my daughter but my friend, I enjoy just being around her and watching her grow into a wonderful person. Throughout this trip her and Dorian would sing different kids songs together; Itsy Bitsy Spider, ABC’s, Take Me Out to the Ball Game etc. Today she just started singing I am a child of God, all by herself. Even though it may seem insignificant it made my heart swell… She is definitely a toddler, she has her fits and tantrums like the rest of them but I feel that fatherly connection with her and sense the same love towards me from her. I am lucky to be her dad… and Catherine; that little girl is such a riot. So full of energy and joy… always talking, never afraid to smile and loves everyone. I love the moments with her where she seems me a yells “Daddy!” I have always felt a fear that I would not be able to have the kind of relationship that she deserves because of the distance that she has living with her mother, but I have been reminded that she too knows that I am her father and wants my love and attention. She is just so loving…She has even been overly affectionate with my mother; which warms my heart. Jane was always somewhat reserved with my mom and I think that it might have hurt her feelings a bit. Not Catherine… loves Grandma and shows it….

On the drive down here we brought a book called “Just Like Daddy.” I don’t know who the author is, but it’s a children’s book that talks of things that children see and feel and how it’s just like daddy; hence the name of the book. Actually, every page ends with the phrase “just like daddy.” As we were driving here Amie was reading the book to the kids and Jane would freely repeat “just like daddy.” Amie then started adlibbing and saying things that I do while ending with “just like daddy.” Some of the things that we being said about me were very endearing and the kids agreed enthusiastically. It caused me to think about it thinking it was the first time that I can recall being celebrated as a father to my kids. This past Father’s Day I didn’t get to talk to my kids; for whatever reason they did not call. I know that at their age they don’t understand but nonetheless it left a bitterness that took me a few days to get over. I love my kids and despite what mistakes I have made in the past I am doing all possible to make it as right as I can so that they know of my love for them and my dedication to the Lord. Until they get to be the age where they understand what all this means I will continue with my efforts even if it goes unnoticed.

As we were driving here I noticed a very enlightening coincidence and decided this should be the place to record it. We drove to Arizona through Las Vegas and the last leg of this trip is traveled through the Joshua Forest. Although Joshua Tree National Park is most known for being in California part of it is in western Arizona, and we were fortunate enough to drive through it. U2 named their album after the trees in that forest (The Joshua Tree) and even photographed the album cover and liner notes in the Joshua forest. The tree itself is quite extraordinary, it doesn’t grow very tall and the climate to which it thrives is without much water and extreme heat; but it maintains a way to offer shade for itself on some of the bigger trees. I appreciated it’s perseverance as I correlated the way in which we are required to thrive through a loan and dreary world. Although I knew about the Joshua tree I was unaware that I would actually be driving though the forest. This was my first time driving to Arizona this route and my family told me that the last leg of the trip was the ugliest, but I will have to disagree. I was listening to the Vertigo Tour album in Chicago, to the song “Running to Stand Still” as we came upon the beauty I beheld. It was a wonderful alignment of time and space to come upon it as I did and realize where I was…

Running To Stand Still:

And so she woke up from where she was lying still;
Saying I got to do something about where were going…
Step on a steam train, step out of the driving rain
Maybe run from the darkness in the night
Singing ha la la la de day
Singing ha la la la de day

Sweet the sin, but the bitter taste in my mouth;
I see seven towers but I only see one way out.
You got to cry without weeping, talk without speaking
Scream without raising your voice,
you knowI took the poison from the poison stream
then I floated out of here…
Singing ha la la la de day
Singing ha la la la de day

She runs through the streets with her eyes painted red
under black belly of cloud in the rain.
In through a doorway, she brings me
white gold and pearls stolen from the sea…
She is raging, she is raging and the storm blows up in her eyes.
She will suffer the needle chill,
She is running to stand still

So there we have it… two days of my trip so far…

Worse Than Taxes...

Today has been a crazy day... With all of the stuff going on with my dad I also had to pay 80 bucks to have a boot removed from my car as it was parked right in front of me as I was washing my H2. I won't go into too many of the details, but it was UGLY. I haven't been that heated in an argument for years... Anyway, I just finished writing the following letter to the HOA in response to what happened. It's self explanatory...

To whom it may concern:

My wife and I are the owners the property with the address XXXXX S. Xxxx Xxxxx Xxx located in the Bluffs at Oquirrh Park Community. This letter is in reference to an incident that occurred approximately 8:30 p.m. Friday June 16, 2006. On said evening my vehicle was booted by Joey Towing Inc. out in front of my town home as I was in my driveway washing my other vehicle. I had parked my car on the street while I was beginning to wash my SUV, keeping my car in plain view the entire time. My car was not obstructing any through traffic, any limited common area space and was not on the street long enough to warrant a boot (See Section 5.2 of the RULES AND REGULATIONS: THE BLUFFS AT OQUIRRH PARK dated March 31, 2006). I was hosing off my SUV as the tow truck drove up, the operator seeing me in plain sight walked up to my car and put the boot on my car. I immediately went to intervene, but to no avail proceeded to have a very heated argument with the driver as he proceeded to tell me that he was only doing his job as per his agreement with the Home Owner’s Association President.

The discussion with the tow truck operator included:

-Threats by the tow truck operator to call the police for my “belligerent conduct.”
-Threats that he would just tow my car and I would have to pay for two days storage PLUS the boot fee since the tow company isn’t open on Saturdays.
-Declarations that I was being “done a favor” that all I had to pay for what the boot removal fee.
-No other options giving me to have the boot removed from my car other than to pay then 80 dollars in cash.
-Statements by the towing company that they don’t give warnings any more.

The purpose of this letter is two-fold:

1. Seeing that the tow company operated under edict from the Home Owner’s Association is becomes necessary for me to require of the Association that the money that I paid in having the boot removed be reimbursed to me (a copy of the receipt is included with this letter). As per Section 5.2; being that my car was in plain view the entire time, even if it was on the street for longer than 5 minutes it was a first offense; and as per Section 8.1.1. I received no warning for the infraction. If I had been asked to move my car, I would have; but I was not given that chance. Because of that, reimbursement is required for this breach of the association rules.

2.The agreement with the HOA and the towing company needs to reflect an overall sense of fairness for the owners in this community. It is for looking out for the property of the home owners and NOT to be used as a racketeering scheme by either the HOA or the towing company. It has become clear by this situation that there is a disconnect between what is fair for the home owners and what the Association allows by the third parties it contracts with. Because of its heated nature, the experience that I had with the tow truck operator was witnessed by many of the owners on Sage Flats Way. In speaking with many of them after the situation was over it was echoed by them that it was clearly unfair/unjust what had just happened and that the quality of the individual that worked for the towing company was one of little professionalism or hygiene. It becomes necessary to have the Association change the company that monitors our streets on our behalf to a more reputable company where the owners are not berated and verbally assaulted for merely trying to exercise their rights given to us by the Association.

I trust that these concerns will be addressed. It is acceptable to have the reimbursement for the boot removal to appear as a credit on our HOA invoice that we receive monthly. For any further information, please feel free to call XXX-XXX-XXXX or email bxxxx@exxxxxnlenxxng.com.

Regards,

Bryce Prescott



Wow...What a day...

Surgery Update 2.

It’s the evening of the same day the previous entry was posted. I received many updates throughout the day from both my brother and my mother, the last one being that my mother had been able to see my father post surgery and that he was fine. Things went better than they had anticipated, throughout the whole surgery he has stable and as predicted they realized a triple bypass. As of writing this I haven’t heard if he has been spoken to after the surgery but the news as of now is that he is fine and things are well… I will write more later…

Surgery Update 1.

So much for a pre-surgery update… Today is Friday, June 16, 2006 and as I write this my father is currently in surgery for the heart conditions I previously wrote about. After my last entry he had the pre-operative appointment I referenced and they scheduled his surgery for today, June 16. I write this with a nervous anxiety for the outcome of today and praying that the surgery will go well. I called my dad last night to talk with him and to express to him my love and appreciation for him and his influence in my life before he went in today for his operation. As he recounted to me the many different expressions that people have shown him of their love for him it seemed that he was relaxed and prepared for whatever outcome this surgery manifested. He has had such an outpouring of love from those people around him and his family that I am confident that if the worst scenario happens he would leave this world knowing of the profound effect he has had on so many people; most of all his family and friends.

On to the technical stuff… The doctors told him that he at least will have a triple by-pass. Because of the strain on his heart over the years his heart is actually enlarged; so there is a possibility of them removing a portion of his heart that would make it smaller. They will enter his chest through his sternum, opening his rib cage to expose his heart all the while he is sedated and being closely monitored by an anesthesiologist. The surgery will take about 5 hours, so as of right now (real time) he has been in surgery for about and hour. They will then drop the transmission, lube the chassis, change the oil (I believe it will be with 5-30w) and then fix the bad cylinder (Sorry, couldn’t help myself). I don’t know many more of the details after that.

I will post this and then update again later. I am hoping for the best… LOVE YOU DAD!!!

Remember The Other Entries, Bryce...

This entry will be very brief. It's more to remind myself as I go back and read the entries that I have written that there are other things that I have written that have not been posted. Hang in there and things will find a way to work themselves out... God Speed...

Be Still My Beating Heart...(Okay, Not Really Funny)

Pardon the language, but I suck at this writing thing…lately anyway. I have had so many things happen to me in my life lately; every time I think that I should sit down to write I end up being distracted and the opportunity AND the ideas pass me by. It is Sunday night and I don’t have any ideas brewing but I am forcing myself to add to this journal. The first thing that comes to mind is the family fast that we had today. Here are some details why we fasted…

I have written before about my father’s health issues and the condition of his heart. I don’t recall if I had given specific details, but at the beginning of May it was scheduled that he was to receive a combination defibulator/pacemaker in his chest to help restart his heart and keep it beating in case of another heart attack. At the end of April he had a follow up appointment with his cardiologist in preparation for that surgery and found some alarming issues that were not recognized before. He was then scheduled for an angiogram, which he had this last week, to see how things were inside his heart. They found out that his heart was worse off then they had anticipated and that had he gone through with the installation of the pacemaker that his heart is not strong enough to handle the stress; it would have taken his life. The surgery that will take place to rectify his problem is a multiple bypass open heart surgery. He has a pre-operative appointment this coming Wednesday after which they will schedule the procedure. According to my father, the amount of time between Wednesday’s appointment and the surgery will be minimal; a few weeks at the latest.

My family decided that this is a good enough reason to have a family fast. There aren’t many things I have been able to participate in since “black Sunday” but fasting is one that I have been able to take part in and still feel somewhat a part of the fold. Amie and I have fasted on numerous occasions, so even with her somewhat limited understanding of the gospel and it’s blessings she sees its importance as well. It was a good fast…as I closed I cannot say that I felt an overwhelming feeling of relief that my father would be stayed from further heath issues; but I did feel that he would be fine, as would my mother and that the Lord’s will would be carried out. I don’t know what that means but it brought me peace knowing that my small offering to the Lord in behalf of my father was listened to and considered.

This experience has reminded me of how I am somewhat sheltered from death. I have never lost anyone that really mattered to me in my life to physical death. I have experienced loss in my life (this blog should bare witness to that) but never in the form of someone close to me passing on to the next world. Seems like a selfish irony that the possibility of my first experience of death would be my own father; it would abruptly introduce me to the sorrow that is associated with that end. Also it would solidify to me the reality of the eternal relationship that I have with him and bring a somber peace as well. Dad, you are a great man and I am thankful for the example you have set to me of Christ-like love and charity. Stick around as long as you can…

Speaking of father’s and eternal relationships…a week or so ago I was speaking with my uncle Scott. He is the stake president in the area where they live and I called him to ask some questions in regards to the relationship that I have with my own children and how that will all work out in the eternities. These thoughts have weighed heavy on my mind lately and I needed some resolution to my heartache. Jane was born in the covenant, meaning that her mother and I were married and sealed in the temple and were worthy of the covenants we had made. When Catherine was born I had already been excommunicated two months prior and so she is not technically sealed to me because of my disobedience to covenants I had made with the Lord. I have spoken with Marla in the months past and she has expressed to me the desire that she has to have the girls sealed to her new husband; from what I understand she has already petitioned for a cancellation of sealing (that means she wants nullified the sealing we had in the temple and her marriage to me). The overall tone in our conversation was that I really don’t have a say and I need to do what’s best for the girls and left them be sealed to him. I have a big problem allowing that to happen; partly from the standpoint of any declaration for “what’s best for the girls” that doesn’t involve me seems biased and partly from the way that I feel the timing is not right for that decision to be made considering the relative newness of our split and the eternality of a sealing. I explained to Scott my concerns and heartache to which he listened and gave council. He encouraged me to use foresight in my association with Marla and not to dwell on the anger that I may feel. He outlined to me the details of my eternal relationship with my girls and told me to believe what the Savior teaches about forgiveness and restoration. He reminded me that things would be restored; council that I much needed to hear. He admonished me to look past those who say that I am not worthy to receive such restoration and to pray A LOT. Before we ended our conversation he gave me the most comforting piece of council. “Sealings, temple marriages, family, covenants, sin, repentance ALL of these things will get worked out after we are through on this earth. All of us are here as a test, you, Marla, even your children will grow up and be tested. Everyone has to be faithful for an eternal family to be complete. Make sure that you are ready for that day by fixing things every time you mess up. If you can’t totally fix it; do what you can…it will work itself out.” So that’s what I’ll do… all that I can.

I love my children and miss then badly as I write this. I feel so sorry that I put our family in a place where this is even a concern. I place in the Lord’s hands the desire I have to have them for eternity and hope that things can work themselves out. I trust that God knows more than I do and loves me, my kids and their mother enough to help all this to be sorted out. The Spirit tells me He can and will…

Anyway, it has felt good to write. I will do better about writing and update no later than Thursday to share when my father’s surgery will be. Off to bed…