How Are You Going To Stop #81? Uhh... Sack His QB...

This morning finds me in a peculiar place. I don’t usually write in the morning but I feel that doing so will allow me to write from a different perspective and draw from a different emotion inside of me. The weather this morning is beautiful; the only clouds that are visible are high in the sky and the air is cool and brisk. It seems that this winter is creeping slowly upon us in typical Utah fashion; the smell of winter is around me yet from the solidarity of behind a window it stills looks very much like summer. A befitting metaphor for a number of changes that happen in life in that from behind shelter things on the other side are somewhat misrepresented. I sit in my office here alone; the part of my family that lives with me are away and I have decided to write…

I have somewhat of a hangover right now. Not from any sort of alcohol (I don’t drink) but from Monday Night Football. I had written previously about how Monday night is a time for friends to gather in my home and enjoy the company of one another and watch football. That idea has become a full blown tradition and I enjoy it on every Monday night as my friends start to show up and we talk, play and watch football. Football has been something that has grown on me and I lament my disinterest in it when I was younger and regret that when my body was able to handle its abuse I never played. Being older and understanding the game the way I do now lets me realize how fascinating it is. To the layman it could be perceived as a barbaric display of unnecessary violence and I guess a portion of it is. There is so much scheme and intelligence needed to understand the many aspects of it and how so much happens all at once that I think that those who don’t like it really don’t understand it and haven’t given it a fair shake. It really is a modern day chess match. Last night was an entertaining game but I started to see that I am the kiss of death for a team on Monday night. This year every team that I have rooted for has lost the Monday night game; even the games I could have cared less about either team the one I chose to support lost. I guess the only way I can secure that my team wins on Monday night is to attend the game (GO FALCONS http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/8126/1845/1600/IMG_0441.0.jpg ) Regardless it is a fun time to watch. After thanksgiving the NFL Network will be broadcasting games on both Thursday and Saturday nights, making it so that Sunday, Monday, Thursday and Saturday night NFL football will be available in HD in my home. WOW… I will need to stock up on chips and salsa! My hangover comes having been wrapped in the drama that is the game and left to a morning to think about it. It’s a good thing….

My body is so sore today as well. I have tried to take care of my body better in the past couple of years and I have done well at increasing my muscle density and lowering my body fat yet I haven’t been able to break through to that next level where I look completely fit and don’t have that extra layer of softness around my midsection. I have definition in my arms and chest that I have never had; I just can’t give up the sugars which deposit themselves on my gut and butt… There is a class at the gym I go to that is called Total Conditioning; it is 75 minutes of manipulating your heart rate above and below your anaerobic threshold. In order to get to the point where you can manipulate your heart rate like that you have to get worked to the point of muscle failure. I went to that class yesterday morning and it is a very exhilarating; BUT today I can feel every muscle in my body remind me what I just did to them. I need to go break a sweat again to get some blood into my muscles I just have no drive to do it. Aw, the beauty of growing old.

Things seem to be good. I write this feeling happy and excited for the weekend. I am going to get my girls this weekend and have them for the Halloween holiday. We have the costumes already for them; Jane will be Tinkerbelle and Catherine will be Raggedy Ann. Dorian will protect the bunch as Superman; very cute costumes. I miss them so much when they aren’t with me and when they are I cherish every moment that I have. I saw a movie once where a man was talking to his father-in-law to be and was telling him of the great love that he had for his daughter. The father-in-law said something to the fact that the feelings we feel for people don’t matter to anybody but ourselves and the only way people can know that we love them is to show them. In keeping to that theme I hope that the actions that I show my kids that I love them will be interpreted the way that they are meant to be. I don’t do anything for my children as an act of guilt for what has happened between their mother and I but as a desire that I have to be around them and take care of them. I don’t know how all of the details will play out but hopefully they will never second guess the love I have for them. I would love it they could live with me someday; there are too many complications to worry about right now to even entertain that thought for too long. For now I will cherish what time that they have here with me.

I need to start the day…