Me and the dumbest/cutest Cocker Spaniel to ever wander the earth...er, i mean my living room.
(Hadn't posted any pics in a while...)
Monday, November 27, 2006
Me and Phoebs...
Me and the dumbest/cutest Cocker Spaniel to ever wander the earth...er, i mean my living room.
(Hadn't posted any pics in a while...)
Giving Thanks... For A Weekend Badly
Monday after Thanksgiving weekend: My body feels like I was in a fist fight and I have reconciled myself to a renewal of sorts. It is an overcast morning with the anticipation of snowfall later this week so I start my writings again hoping to go back to my personal “default settings” and remove the bad habits of the weekend. This weekend I ate too much, slept too much, didn’t exercise enough and feel old because of it. It is also a tough time business wise to maintain focus because for five days there is not much of anything that you can do to either get new business or have progress on your current business. The first few “trots back in the saddle” after that are challenging. BUT… here I am starting with the important things; I read my scriptures, ate breakfast and am now writing in my journal. The way I figure it after starting the day this way I can expect nothing but success for the rest of the day.
I don’t normally like to record in my journal my personal transgressions but yesterday was a day I don’t want to relive. I watched football all day long; didn’t go to church, shopped on Sunday and didn’t do anything remotely close to worshipping the Lord. It is no wonder that I felt empty and spiritually void yesterday. Before I went to bed I had a self inventory and thought about how inexcusable my actions were for the day and in a prayer I offered to Heavenly Father my promise that I would never act in that way again. In thinking about it I have used my excommunication as an excuse to make it seem that I have more challenge spiritually then the next man and that I should have a built in margin of error in the way my mistakes are handled with Heavenly Father. In reality I don’t have much left in the tank spiritually yet offer up a number of excuses to legitimize my lack of adherence to what is required of me. Regardless, I have concluded that my excuses will offer no relief to the reality that I have not acted the way the Lord would have me and I have been left to deal with the consequences of omitting or committing such actions. I have decided to change these behaviors and show a higher level of dedication and go back to the way I used to be; seeking for the spiritual gifts the Lord offers and knowing that my actions are not getting in the way of the Lord blessing me. I am reminded of the saying that a true winner one who always rises again after failure, not someone who never fails.
Along those lines one of the goals that I have this Christmas season is to get to know my Savior better and one of the ways I am choosing to do that is to read the book Jesus the Christ by James E. Talmage. I have started reading and I love the rich texture of the literature as it describes different aspects of the Savior’s life and mission. I relish in the writing pondering that it was written inside the Salt Lake temple and by the hand of an apostle, commissioned by the prophet. I love reading meaningful commentary and I couldn’t find a more suitable book to read alongside the scriptures to help in my understanding of my Savior. I will make sure to report on different thoughts and feelings I have as I read and record them in my journal.
To close this posting I want to leave a quote that I found:
"Like those who were alive at the time of His mortal ministry, there are some among us who look for physical peace and prosperity as signs of the Savior's wondrous power. We sometimes fail to understand that the everlasting peace Jesus promises is an inner peace, born in faith, anchored by testimony, nurtured with love, and expressed through continual obedience and repentance. It is a peace of spirit that echoes through the heart and the soul. If one truly knows and experiences this inner peace, there is no fear from worldly disharmony or discord. One knows deep down inside that all is well as far as the things that really matter are concerned." Russell M. Nelson.
I don’t normally like to record in my journal my personal transgressions but yesterday was a day I don’t want to relive. I watched football all day long; didn’t go to church, shopped on Sunday and didn’t do anything remotely close to worshipping the Lord. It is no wonder that I felt empty and spiritually void yesterday. Before I went to bed I had a self inventory and thought about how inexcusable my actions were for the day and in a prayer I offered to Heavenly Father my promise that I would never act in that way again. In thinking about it I have used my excommunication as an excuse to make it seem that I have more challenge spiritually then the next man and that I should have a built in margin of error in the way my mistakes are handled with Heavenly Father. In reality I don’t have much left in the tank spiritually yet offer up a number of excuses to legitimize my lack of adherence to what is required of me. Regardless, I have concluded that my excuses will offer no relief to the reality that I have not acted the way the Lord would have me and I have been left to deal with the consequences of omitting or committing such actions. I have decided to change these behaviors and show a higher level of dedication and go back to the way I used to be; seeking for the spiritual gifts the Lord offers and knowing that my actions are not getting in the way of the Lord blessing me. I am reminded of the saying that a true winner one who always rises again after failure, not someone who never fails.
Along those lines one of the goals that I have this Christmas season is to get to know my Savior better and one of the ways I am choosing to do that is to read the book Jesus the Christ by James E. Talmage. I have started reading and I love the rich texture of the literature as it describes different aspects of the Savior’s life and mission. I relish in the writing pondering that it was written inside the Salt Lake temple and by the hand of an apostle, commissioned by the prophet. I love reading meaningful commentary and I couldn’t find a more suitable book to read alongside the scriptures to help in my understanding of my Savior. I will make sure to report on different thoughts and feelings I have as I read and record them in my journal.
To close this posting I want to leave a quote that I found:
"Like those who were alive at the time of His mortal ministry, there are some among us who look for physical peace and prosperity as signs of the Savior's wondrous power. We sometimes fail to understand that the everlasting peace Jesus promises is an inner peace, born in faith, anchored by testimony, nurtured with love, and expressed through continual obedience and repentance. It is a peace of spirit that echoes through the heart and the soul. If one truly knows and experiences this inner peace, there is no fear from worldly disharmony or discord. One knows deep down inside that all is well as far as the things that really matter are concerned." Russell M. Nelson.
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Fumes...
It’s the evening after an eventful day on this day of Thanksgiving. I have indigestion and writer’s block but can’t let the day go by without at least posting something. In entries past I have not focused so much on the day to day activities that I was involved in but more on the emotions and feelings surrounding what I do; I haven’t been in a great place for writing so I have decided to record what I have been doing to spark those feelings so that I can then record them. Here goes…
Today was a busy day. We decided to have Thanksgiving dinner here at my home with Amie’s family. We didn’t eat until late so the day was spent in preparation of the meal and also of watching football (Cowboys beat the Bucs 38-10). As a side note the Cowboy’s have been coming on strong in the past weeks, their replacement QB has put up number’s equivalent to the league’s elite and it makes for a great time for the team to become hot as the end of the season draws near and the playoffs are close. Amie’s dad came over at about 3ish to watch the game. We started eating around six and that was when the house was filled with people; close to 25. Food was eaten, we cleaned up, people left and here I am, like I said, with indigestion. Why can’t I ever remember that overeating is LAME and not to be glorified!
I called the girls this morning to talk to them. It’s funny to me how Catherine will talk to me with greater ease than will Jane. I can hear in the background every time I call to talk to Jane that she is resistant to talk and throws a fit. I don’t ever really get to communicate with them and wonder if I am just calling to talk to them for me and not for them; that they could really care less. I had them over this past weekend and for the most part it was a great visit; everyone getting along and having a good family vibe. Having the girls around helps in my relationship with Dorian, I appreciate him more as I see the three of them together and how he genuinely cares about them. I remember not too many weeks ago taking him to get his hair cut and the barber asking if he had any brothers or sisters to which he replied that he had two younger sisters and he liked them a lot. There was no asterick, if you will that said they were step sisters or that they didn’t leave here all the time. He just said he did and he liked them. He also prays for them when we pray as a family. It seems that my concerns and love for them has been matched with the love and concern that Amie and Dorian have as well. I wish that I felt that the same regard was patterned in their home in Idaho; I am doubtful that it is.
Anyway, tomorrow Amie is dragging me out of bed early to go to the big “day after Thanksgiving” sales. It will be my first time being out and about before 7 a.m. for any sort of thing like that. (and to note, she was stunning today… such style and grace as a host…)
Very scattered entry… Tank is empty… in every way.
Today was a busy day. We decided to have Thanksgiving dinner here at my home with Amie’s family. We didn’t eat until late so the day was spent in preparation of the meal and also of watching football (Cowboys beat the Bucs 38-10). As a side note the Cowboy’s have been coming on strong in the past weeks, their replacement QB has put up number’s equivalent to the league’s elite and it makes for a great time for the team to become hot as the end of the season draws near and the playoffs are close. Amie’s dad came over at about 3ish to watch the game. We started eating around six and that was when the house was filled with people; close to 25. Food was eaten, we cleaned up, people left and here I am, like I said, with indigestion. Why can’t I ever remember that overeating is LAME and not to be glorified!
I called the girls this morning to talk to them. It’s funny to me how Catherine will talk to me with greater ease than will Jane. I can hear in the background every time I call to talk to Jane that she is resistant to talk and throws a fit. I don’t ever really get to communicate with them and wonder if I am just calling to talk to them for me and not for them; that they could really care less. I had them over this past weekend and for the most part it was a great visit; everyone getting along and having a good family vibe. Having the girls around helps in my relationship with Dorian, I appreciate him more as I see the three of them together and how he genuinely cares about them. I remember not too many weeks ago taking him to get his hair cut and the barber asking if he had any brothers or sisters to which he replied that he had two younger sisters and he liked them a lot. There was no asterick, if you will that said they were step sisters or that they didn’t leave here all the time. He just said he did and he liked them. He also prays for them when we pray as a family. It seems that my concerns and love for them has been matched with the love and concern that Amie and Dorian have as well. I wish that I felt that the same regard was patterned in their home in Idaho; I am doubtful that it is.
Anyway, tomorrow Amie is dragging me out of bed early to go to the big “day after Thanksgiving” sales. It will be my first time being out and about before 7 a.m. for any sort of thing like that. (and to note, she was stunning today… such style and grace as a host…)
Very scattered entry… Tank is empty… in every way.
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